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Writer's pictureMeghan O'Donnell

Navigating long-distance friendships

Hi friends,


In the sports industry, it's pretty much expected that you'll have to move for a job at some point in your career.  For many of us, our "dream jobs" are found far away from home.  Even if you live in a major city such as New York, filled with teams, league headquarters, colleges, and more, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to be hiring for your specific area of interest at the time that you're applying. I don't know about you, but I had so many professors advise me and my classmates to not get tied to a specific location, that we'd have more opportunities if we were location agnostic.



Perhaps that's why there are so many transplants in the industry. I was one of them. When I first started out, I moved from my college apartment in Newark, DE to good ol' Bristol, CT. And I was thrilled about it! I was lucky to have received a job offer before my senior year, so I'd spent 10 months just itching to start my career. 


As many of you have experienced, there's a transition period when you graduate, whether you're starting a new role or looking for work (as Sam wrote about previously). But what people don't warn you about is the adjustment to long-distance friendships. I had just spent the last four years living with or within walking distance of my closest friends, hanging out with them daily. Upon graduating, most of them stayed within the tristate area, starting high-paying financial jobs in Philadelphia or impressive engineering roles in Delaware or Jersey. I was the one who moved away, five hours away to be exact. Needless to say, I had serious FOMO any time I'd see photos of my friends hanging out or read about them making plans in the group chat. 


Not that I could have gone even if I had lived nearby. My overnight and weekend hours weren't exactly conducive to a thriving social life. It also impacted my texting conversations with friends. They were most responsive after getting home from work in the evening, right around the time I was getting busy working on a show or live sporting event. Sometimes I wouldn't have time to respond until later in my shift - aka the middle of the night. Establishing a consistent texting pattern was difficult. 


That transition - going from seeing and talking to these people, my best friends, every single day to being lucky if we got a few texts in a week, all while watching them continue to hang out without me - was absolutely brutal. As someone who puts a lot of pressure on myself to be the best at what I do, it was especially difficult to not have that support system 24/7 and just the emotional release of hanging out with people who know and love the real you, not the version you present at work. 




That said, my people are the best. Every single one of my closest friends from college made the drive to Bristol to visit me at some point during my first year there. Some came multiple times. We also learned to adapt. We'd plan FaceTimes around my chaotic schedule, which usually meant them chatting on a random Tuesday or at the weirdest hours. Yet they never complained. And while we realized it would never be as easy as it was in college living right next door to each other, we also knew the effort was worth it. 


The way your relationships change as you get older can be a difficult transition no matter what industry you're in or where you live. If you're going through a challenging period, struggling to adapt to seeing your friends less or not having time for as many social outings, know that you're not alone. While it's not talked about enough, long-distance friendships can be really hard. Just know that it's not uncommon. You can and will navigate the difficulties and find a new normal. And remember, you're awesome and you belong here. 




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